Attitude Adjustments

Mama* and I think it's important to keep a semblance of routine for the children.

They still go to the same schools (after some transportation glitches), eat and go to bed at the same times, watch many of the same TV shows, have the same friends. The same things make Mama happy and Daddy impatient

The only real difference is that they're no longer doing it in their own house. They seem to have adjusted to this, but...sometimes I wonder.

Nessie seems to have adjusted to the situation best of all of us. She's quite resilient, riding the crest of a wave of popularity at her school as 8 slowly gives way to 9. She asked innumerable questions at first, when this all started, but once she understood, she seems to have made the best of things.

Mike** has always been the quiet one in the family. He reads voraciously and is rarely found without a book. I notice he tends to quietly observe most things that go on around him, even when it looks like he isn't. And he only speaks to someone outside the family when spoken to. Of late, he seems to have withdrawn even more so than normal. He's the family member I worry most about, because if anything is troubling him (he's given no indication that anything is) he's less prone to spontaneously speak up. And I'm afraid that something could come bubbling to the surface if any more stress is put on him.

Maybe he's struggling with his onw Beast. I don't know. I'd like to find out, but one thing I've learned is that in mental health help, you get what you pay for. That lets out the free or sliding-scale services, and the good shrinks are out of sight price-wise.

I guess I'll just stand ready to help out as best I can if Mike's Beast (if there is one) makes an appearance. So far, his books and regular doses of "Family Guy" seem to help him maintain.

Mama has her ups and downs, but she recognized what she needs and how to go about it, so I basically leave it to her to know what's best for Mama. She's into Yoga and other Eastern meditative and relaxation techniques, so she has a good arsenal of weapons to use against her Beast.

Me, I have this. And my internal soundtrack.

I pray they're enough.

*Just a term of endearment I use for my wife. Actually, I only rarely use her name since Nessie was born.

**A clarification is necessary at this point, Mike (and his older brother, Christopher, who is not living with us) are products of my marriage to my first wife, who I divorced back in 1992.

you know bro, I wish I was as well compsed as you are. What are your plans? or what would you wnat your plans to be? Are you going to stay in North Carolina? I m trying myself to get my money together and I m thinking of relocating to Philadelphia. I m not sure how you, your family or Your Beast would respond to moving, but it may be an option. Of course I d recommmend waiting until the school year ends for the kids adjustment.
Sounds like even though you are all in a difficult situation, you care very much about the welfare of your children. Family Guy, huh... ;)
From what I've read so far, your outlook is such that you're the best thing your son has in his life right now.
Based on my experience with my sons, I am guessing that Mike is probably taking his cue from watching how you are handling the situation. One thing I found that has been helpful in getting my sons to open up and talk about what's going on inside their heads, is for me to open up and talk about what's going on in my head. Talk to him about your beast, and he may be able to tell you about his.

My best to you all. Be well.

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