Full Frontal Christmas
Christmas. Full Frontal.
("What's that? Is he crazy? It's Christmas, fergoshsakes! How can he be so Grinchy?")
Well, okay, maybe "bah, humbug" is a tad extreme, but pull your chairs closer and I'll explain what's going on in my warped little brain concerning the Christmas holiday.
When I was a boy in Durham, the first week in September usually brought a tingle in my being that was overwhelmed by the first weeks of school, but would quickly grow in intensity. By Halloween, it would be noticeable and would fold itself into the excitement of trick-or-treating, the Great Pumpkin on TV, and the arrival of the Sears Wish Book in the mail. By Thanksgiving, I could barely eat my turkey and watch the parades with the excitement of the approaching holiday. The sight of Santa Claus at the end of the Macy's parade would set a fire of excitement that only blazed brighter and brighter so that my mid-December, I'd be virtually bouncing off the walls. Christmas Day would culminate in such an orgy of gift giving, gift-getting and family visits that December 26th always was a heavy day of depression for me.
However, that's not the case today. As I've aged, I've become more acutely aware of the marketing buildup before Christmas. This in turn has made me more acutely aware that I don't make much money, and can therefore not afford to give many gifts.
For those of you who have not been badly bitten by the Poverty Monster (oh, how I envy you...) here's the breakdown: I live in constant fear from September 1st right up through December 25th that Mike and Ness will wake up Christmas morning and find nothing under her tree save a few random dust bunnies.
That is my number 2 fear, right behind watching a tornado bear down on me.
Sure I somehow manage to pull it off, most years. Some years have been awful close, though*. And as it is, I can't buy presents for anyone other than my immediate family. I can't remember that last year I gave my Mom a Christmas present.
However, there's still a month or two to go. Who knows? Maybe one of those hundreds of resumes I scattergunned all over the Triad will finally bear fruit.
Hope it does so soon. I thought I heard reindeer being test-flown the other night...
*2004 was Annus Horribilis as far as Christmas presents go. I'd just gotten hired at Kohl's, and didn't get much for my first paycheck, so I could only give Ness part of what she wanted, and had to promise Mike and Mama I'd use part of my tax refund in January to get their presents.