Then Beggars Would Ride
Working full time in retail.
What the heck was I thinking?
Well, it's not like there are any graphic design jobs coming my way anymore (and I'm about ready to chuck the whole graphics thing anyway, for more than one reason), so I might as well just shut up, give up and make the best of it.
So what events have transpired since the tsunami...er, I mean, the holidays hit?
My biggest fear thankfully didn't come to pass; thanks to the generosity of Mt. Zion Baptist Church, my co-workers and some of my out of town friends, Mama and the kids had an excellent holiday. Even I got some presents (which I certainly wasn't expecting), but the biggest thing was getting the Trusty Steed to Durham to visit my mother and aunt and back without a hitch. Missed seeing my brother and his new baby, but that's okay; he's always at my mom's house, and we get along like oil and water anyway.
I guess the biggest thing since New Year's Day is that I've finally gotten serious about wanting to lose weight. Nothing faddish or fancy, no Atkins or South Beach diets or anything like that. Let's call this one the Po' Man's Diet. I can't afford a lot of health food and the like (even though we're on Food Stamps), so I use portion control and keep track of what I eat with a cheap food diary I picked up at Borders ($3.95). I try to keep my calories below 2500 a day* and my fat intake to 30% of that. I pay a lot of attention to the nutrition labels on the back of the packages. I've taken up yoga and pilates**, and -- if I can ever learn the moves -- plan to get into t'ai-c'hi. So far I've lost about 10 pounds, but I won't be satisfied until I hit 185 and therefore won't be mistaken for Shamu the Killer Whale.
The big negative of late, however, is that the Beast has made new inroads into my mind. He's gotten quiet since late November, but now relentlessly goes around all the mental barriers I put up. Most of his attacks now seem to have as their source the fact that I used to make 3-4 times as much as I used to when I worked at the ad agency and had a lot more fun. And didn't have to deal with the public at all. It's getting harder and harder to keep from getting depressed when he starts up a fresh attack.
It's said that once you stop looking for what you want, it comes to you. Or something like that. Maybe now that I've stopped looking, a better job with more money will fall into my lap.
Hmm, maybe the Flying Monkeys will come and whisk me off to Oz, too.***
* All that running around at work has some benefit; at a calculated calorie burn rate of about 3-4 calories a minute, I can knock off between 1350-1800 calories a day. And yeah, sometimes I fill the hole with a cookie or a slice of cake.
** Don't be fooled, guys; you see only women doing this stuff on the commercials and videos, but it's intense enough for us dudes, too. Check out vids by yoga instructor Rodney Yee if you don't believe me. Intense stuff. There are also football players and soldiers using yoga, too.
***Glinda the Good Witch: giggity, giggity!
First of all, I'm very happy for what both you and your family have accomplished so far, but more importantly, all of you should be proud of all your hard work which got you to where you are today compared to where you started almost a year ago! You now know that the difference between thinking you know something and knowning you know something; 1 year ago, there were an infinite number of possibilities for where you'd end up today, but now you know where you've ended up simply because you know how and why you got here!
Secondly, in regards to what you said about trying/wanting to lose (or gain!) weight... These are just a few things that most people who've succeed in both losing weight and also kept it off have said when asked how they did it:
1. "I got to the point where I hated how I looked and/or felt"
2. "I didn't use any particular diet plan and/or eat less; I just started eating healthier while eliminating unheathly food."
3. "I set my goals in increments of 10/20/30/etc. pounds instead of just one large number that would depress me before I could reach it."
4. "I didn't want to wait until it was to late."
I like this thing right here: "You now know that the difference between thinking you know something and knowing you know something"